It's not something a mother should say to her son or daughter.
That being said,
"You're pretty, but you aren't *beautiful,*" is not something I think a mother should say either.
Parents are supposed to always support their children. Maybe not financially or whatever, but emotionally, I think a parent should always be there for their son or daughter, no matter how old they are. Unconditional love.
In fact, I think it's common practice to be "there" emotionally for anyone you love, so if someone is not there for you, in my mind, it means they don't care about you. Being "there" for someone doesn't have to mean buying them things or telling them what they want to hear, no, most of the time, it just means being open to listening and understanding without judgment.
People, in general, love to walk around spewing sentences. "I love you," "I'd do anything for you," whatever it is. It's so easy to spit out words.
It's so hard to act on them... but that's what makes it so meaningful.
Nothing worth doing is ever easy.
People, in general, are so swayed by sweet words, which would make sense as to why they overreact when they're given some words that maybe aren't so sweet, even if they aren't necessarily mean or cruel.
For example, saying "I don't want to be around you" does not translate as "I hate you" or "I think you're a terrible person." It simply translates to "I don't have the desire to be around you."
Instead of being insulted at such a confession, despite the difficulty of it, we need to start to wonder.
Why would they say that?
What would make this person not want to be around me?
Do they feel this way about everyone? Just me? Some people?
If it's everyone, maybe they want to be left alone. Maybe they need some time for self-reflection.
If it's just you, think about what you're doing wrong or what in your relationship with them specifically would make them feel that way.
If it's some people, see if there are any common themes among you and these other people. Are you all Trump supporters? Do all of you like to gossip? Maybe all of you have a demanding quality?
If you can't figure it out, it's probably because you're blind to your own mistakes, which happens to all of us sometimes. Look deeper within yourself, or give up. Your choice.
Despite all of this analyzation to deescalate a situation, words can stick with us. I don't think they're the words that are said in an effort of communication, however. They're the words that are only said with intention to hurt.
The things I've mentioned that my mother has said to me... as well as a slew of other things people could tell you.
It ranges from simple ideas like "You're ugly," or "You're stupid" to deeper ones that maybe only you know the context and meaning of like "Go home."
These things do not help us grow; they actually hinder it.
They become the things the voices in our heads tell us when we're feeling down or when we doubt ourselves.
We reuse this ammunition on ourselves, as if being hit with them once is not enough. These things become soundtracks for self-doubt.
The worst part is when they're repeated to you often by others as well, especially when they're people you love.
Anyway, I'm getting off topic.
My point is as follows.
There are sweet and bitter things people say. Of the bitter things, some are said out of love, and some are said for more hateful purposes.
If we all took a moment to think about these, we would get hurt less often, and we would also be able to see who in our lives gives us constructive criticism and who just criticizes us.
I'm at this point, and strangely enough, I'm realizing that the people closest to me are the ones who criticize me most, and I'm more likely to get constructive criticism from a stranger than I am from my own loved ones.
Why do the ones we love hurt us most?
It shouldn't be this way. I'm looking for a way to live a life that isn't like this.
I don't want to be that kind of mother.
